The Herminator says “I’ll be back” We say “not so fast”

The Herminator says “I’ll be back” We say “not so fast”

Maybe it is time to pick on poor Herman Cain just a wee bit. I realize that it is totally unsporting of me (or anyone) to pick on this guy because he is such an easy target, and it is just not fair to pick on a guy who is already just a caricature of himself. Personally I never liked the guy, as a candidate that is, but a fair number of people who’s opinion I respect, although don’t necessarily agree with, said “hey how about this guy Cain. He looks pretty cool. He’s not a beltway insider, and is a smart business man with a compelling, self made, rags to riches story. How refreshing” I could see that if I were a republican (which I no longer classify myself as) I might be enchanted by this guy as a potential threat to Obama. What the hell, he has the afore mentioned qualities plus he has been very philanthropic and as a CEO of several large Corporations he supposedly knows how to run things and delegate. On top of that as an outsider, it is presumed that he is not already in somebody’s hip pocket, and he is a black guy, which is a good way for a white republican who hates Obama to try and dispel any racial guilt or at least present the appearance of such. “See I’m obviously not against Obama due to any racial discriminatory feelings! In fact I support a black guy”. At least The Herminator provided that black get-out-a-jail-free card for fellow republicans even if he drops out at this point Republicans can still say “well I was for Cain but he dropped so now I have to support someone else”

Even though I could empathies with my friends singing the Cain song, my first reaction was, this guy probably sold snake oil to Eve. My second reaction was that his campaign was in the interest of publicity for current book sales and future projects where name recognition equals dollars. Don’t laugh, it’s true, not that I know for certain that was Cain’s motive, but that name recognition equals dollars. Shortly thereafter he announced his 9-9-9 tax plan. I read some analysis from several economists and along with my own admittedly skeptical assessment; I came to the conclusion that Herman is in fact an ignoramus.

I don’t know the details of his plan and every assessment reveled the same, so I assume there simply are no real details at this point. Now, considering that the current lowest rate is 10% for those making under $8500…..9% on the personal income sounds cool on the surface (probably what Herman was counting on). However not too much additional thought is required to realize that most 10%ers actually pay nothing, in fact most 15%ers ($8500 to 34,500) don’t pay jack shit ether. Effective rate (what you actually shell over to Uncle Sam) is always quite different than Marginal rate due to deductions. Tax deductions are not the exclusive tool of the rich and famous. Most normal working folks take advantage of Mortgage interest deduction child dependant, child care, health care costs and the like. Bottom line is; it would be a tax increase for the lower income types. If you’re in the 35%, 33% or even 28% bracket, hell you might think you’re making out like a teen couple on lookout hill till you start to factor cost of living in this nation with a 9% national sales tax. Guess what folks, here in MI you would pay 15 bucks on every hundred you spend. This also kinda hits the little guy and middle income guy harder due to the exponential nature of necessary consumption. In other words the stuff you NEED takes a larger percent of the limited resources you have if you are poor….get it. Besides the which, most agree that a consumption tax is a Pandora ’s Box and if it is created it will never go away and most likely turn into a monster bureaucracy feeding itself and increasing in size demanding more money aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaa. Like Godzilla marching through D.C. consuming the nations treasurers and belching out Ten year Treasury Notes, sucking dollars out of the pockets of children and giving then treasuries or monopoly money which would be just about the same thing.

Ok let us just skip the 9% corp. tax rate in the interest of expediency. Suffice to say, some guy at the bus stop told me that he didn’t care for the idea right before he proceeded to explains to me the concepts and contradictions of quantum physics, so I just bought it. So now you have to trust me, it’s not good and it won’t work.

Herman claims that his plan is revenue neutral. CBO says no. I like that it has a rhyme. CBO says no no no, and big old Herm he’s got to go, got five bad women shouting trash at me, gonna get me five more while I’m in D.C.

Well hoohaa, now we gettin down again on route 66 and getting to the nitty- gritty of the old Herminator. He’s a womanizer and a chauvinist now isn’t he. My wife might disagree but I still like to pretend that I am a card carrying member of the American Man Club. As such, while I’m around the, guys watching the game and telling lies about the wonders of ourselves when we were young, I pretend that a bit of gratuitous ass grabbing is not only acceptable; it’s expected and held in high esteem. But in reality, if you are in a position of authority and make sexual advances with even the slightest possibility of implied repercussion for not reciprocating……well …that is nothing short of disgusting lecherous behavior. And it is illegal. And the AMC will pull your card and disavow any knowledge of your actions. I mean if you got to use sexual harassment to get a chick Herman, then you need to get a life.

So now we hear that He has been having a 13 year affair and his only reply was “she’s just a friend” what????? She’s just a friend? WTF!!!!! Herm, you couldn’t come up with anything better than that? She’s just a friend, my God, a drunk 16 year old could come up with a better lie that that…..she’s just a friend, and I gave her money to help her out…. You have got to be fucking kidding me. You gave her money to help her out, and the wife is going to believe that crock of stroganoff??? Herm, Herm, Herm, I get it, you’re a big hansom successful guy, and you want a little….you know…. A little sompin sompin….hey go on, you earned it, but don’t tell us she’s just a friend. I was born at night but it wernt last night.   

I am in no way saying that I think the private lives of our elected officials should be any of my business, as long as it does not involve anything illegal. That being said, I do consider someone a hypocrite when they campaign on a moral superiority platform and act in a dishonest, disreputable fashion. Frankly, I find it very distasteful for someone to stand against equal rights under the law for anyone without a heterosexual relationship, stand against embryonic stem cell research, because it destroys an embryo that will be destroyed anyway, stands against a woman’s rights to her own reproductive system, openly regards these as moral deficiencies, while being involved in Four different sexual harassment scandals and one accusation of having a clandestine 13 year extra marital affair.    

Most likely, we not going to see anything but the tail light of old Herm as he drives off into the night unless he makes one dramatic and desperate move…. He Talks Silvio Berlusconi into coming to America, becoming his campaign manager and teaching him to not only be a grab ass, but also be a total chauvinist playboy with an 18 year girl friends, and have the American public love him for it!!!!!!!!!

Good luck Herm.